Hey there, I’m Martin Trainer. I’m a professional working golfer. For a living.
That means I get paid to do a lot of squinting. I’m pretty good at judging distances in yards. I use buckets of sunscreen, but I don’t have a sunscreen sponsor which is currently a problem area I need to discuss with my management. The best thing about being a professional golfer is that I get to humiliate my friends who are nearly, but not quite as good as me, by paying them a pittance to walk around the course carrying my clubs.
I live in San Francisco, which is great because I love nothing more than having to actively dodge human fecal matter on the sidewalks of the world’s most expensive real estate.
Carpe yolo.
- martin trainer
When I’m not golfing, (professionally, for money) you can probably find me doing all sorts of anti-American things. Like eating (and enjoying!) all sorts of stinky French cheeses. Or cooking crepes. Crepes! Or speaking French. Frankly, if I had any shame, it’d be embarrassing.